Have you ever feel that you are so confuse to decide something?
should i take a risk and out of my comfort zone?
seeing everybody come and go until the time has come, the time that I have to go back to the land i called home.
I wish I had more options than i already have.
every decision gonna bring me to somewhere that i named it land of unknown,
every decision has a gift that i called consequences to my life.
who am i today is a presentation from my decision that bring their consequences with them to me.
i consider that this is the time when i have to follow my brain led me to the future.
only God i believe can help me holding my hand to the promise land.
as i believe that this city has a tons of memory which is too sweet to let it go, but i have to go
i have to carry on with my life,
i am gonna missed you all , i am gonna missed Marks and Spencer, am gonna missed everybody and every part of this city. this city has bite massive part in my heart, they occupied more than half of it. i just feel like i am in my second home in here.
the song of take that called Julie will always remind me about night shift in Christmas 2008 in Marks and Spencer
the other song called rule the world will remind me to David Clements whose is my informal Geordie language in Mark's
well this country is too sweet to be forgotten.......
i realised that i love to be here more than i already feel it

still strong this brain reminding me about the speech of vice chancellor Northumbria University in congregation day, he said that "20 years ago Jonathan Ivy walking on this stage and I guess he never ever think that he would be as he is now in the next 20 years".He start asking the graduate "today, as you walk through this stage to received your degree have you ever think what will you be in the next 20 years?" in my little heart start to make commitment to myself and promise that in the next 20 years i will be great man i promise. however, i don't know the path to become great man. can i be great man in the next 20 years if i start from now? or later on. well in the next 20 years as i believe that today will be my remembrance day when i decide to accelerate my career with going back home for good and start my business in my home country where there is no limitation on border and immigration rules because that's my home.
i feel sad because i will never know what's gonna happen in the future if i decide to stay in here would it be good or would it be wasting my time. i only believe that God will make a way on every path that i take, i put Him in front of me as my pillar of fire during the night and as my pillar of cloud during the day. God just hold me hand tightly so whatever the way that i take You will be on my side.